Style Magazine 49
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A deadly blood clot left 22-year-old Robyne Toseland
fighting for her life. She tells Alice Ryan why she's
determined to get well � and determined to keep smiling.
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ying in intensive care, her heart
hammering and her chest tight, Robyne
Toseland was in total shock. Less than
an hour earlier, the 22-year-old had called
the doctor, thinking she had some kind of
infection, a virus maybe... Now she was in
a hospital bed, wired up to all kinds of
bleeping machines. And she'd just been
diagnosed with a deadly blood clot.
"I was just like `Oh my GOD!'," says
Robyne. "I remember crying and saying `But
I'm fine � there's nothing wrong with me'.
They told me I had a pulmonary embolism; I
didn't even know what that was..."
To meet Robyne now � a bright and bubbly
newlywed, who's planning to train as a nurse
� it's scary to think she was once so ill. But
while the Impington girl may seem happy
and healthy on the surface, underneath she is
still in turmoil.
"Even now, a year and a half later, it is
always on my mind," admits Robyne. "I must
have phoned the doctor a million times,
afraid I had another clot. I think about it
every minute of every day, to be honest, and
that's not a nice way to live your life.
"I still have some symptoms: my heart rate
races and I struggle with certain things, like
climbing a flight of stairs. I was warned that
it would take a long time to recover, but I
didn't really believe it."
Robyne started to feel unwell in the January
of 2008. Convinced she was unfit, she took
up trampolining with a friend.
"One night in March, I only jumped up and
down a couple of times and I felt like I
couldn't breathe," she recalls. "I thought I
was going to faint; I said I had to stop."
Sitting on the floor, Robyne remembers her
eyesight being blurry and feeling as if she
was about to black out.
When she got home that night, Robyne
confessed her fears to her then fianc�,
Carl, now her husband. "I said `What's
wrong with me? Why won't my body allow
me to do anything?'.
"On the Friday, I got out of bed, walked
down the stairs and literally couldn't breathe.
It felt like I had a mountain of bricks on my
chest. Or as if someone was holding a plastic
bag over my mouth and I was trying to
breathe through it."
By the Saturday, Robyne couldn't even move
her arm without her heart racing. A doctor
diagnosed a suspected pulmonary embolism
� a potentially fatal blood clot in the lungs,
lodged in an artery � and called an
ambulance.
Scans showed multiple blood clots in
Robyne's lungs � numerous small clots and
one huge one, lodged in her pulmonary
artery. Affecting the blood flow to her heart,
that big clot could have killed her. Moved to
intensive care, Robyne admits it was touch
and go for a while. Doctors prescribed total
bed rest and two anti-clotting drugs.
The medics couldn't, adds Robyne, explain
why she had developed the clots in the first
place � but did suggest one possible cause:
the contraceptive pill. "I went on it when I
was 17, when Carl and I got together,"
explains Robyne. "Just like most girls my age,
I didn't think much about it. I'd been taking it
for six years. The fact it could have caused all
this is really, really scary."
After seven days in hospital, Robyne was
allowed to go home � just in time for her
23rd birthday. Scans proved the small clots
had dispersed, and the large clot had
diminished. But doctors warned Robyne that
her body, in particular her heart, had been
put under enormous strain and that it would
take a long time for her to recover.
Determined to get back to normal, Robyne
threw herself into planning her wedding to
Carl: after a four-year engagement, they were
married on Valentine's Day this year.
"After all that negativity, I needed something
positive to work towards. And I'd always
wanted to get married on Valentine's Day �
because I love hearts and everything pink
and sparkly!"
The wedding was, continues Robyne, a real
high point. But there have also been plenty
of lows over the last year and a half.
"I think I'll always be worried about the clots
coming back. And I beat myself up because
I'm still not back to normal � physically or
emotionally."
Robyne is still taking anti-clotting medication
and expects to be on it for the rest of her life.
Her heart has been left enlarged; doctors are
currently investigating. And she is still unable
to work or study, suffering with both
breathlessness and a racing pulse.
She says she would also like to have a family
� but knows pregnancy increases the risk of
blood clots. "Life isn't back to normal,"
admits Robyne. "But, in a weird way, I don't
regret this experience. It's made me
appreciate life a lot more. It's made me
realise that Carl must really, really love me,
to have supported me through all this. And
it's inspired me to train as a nurse � I'm
hoping to start next year.
"I know, from my own experience, that life
can be tough. But I would advise everyone
to take each day as it comes, try to stay
positive and keep on smiling. You have to
smile, don't you?"
Robyne supports Lifeblood: The
Thrombosis Charity. For more information,
visit www.thrombosis-charity.org.uk
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