News & Star Tuesday, June 2, 200930 www.newsandstar.co.uk yyoouurrffaammiillyy1122
A dream house in the
trees � minus the slug
A TREE house party seemed like
such a good idea as we sat in the
garden one surprisingly hot April
day discussing what we could do
for B's birthday. Her birthday is
mid-May, it would simply be
hotter by then, we reckoned.
Having it outside � in the woods
at her grandparents' farm �
seemed the perfect answer. There
was acres of space to race around
in, we could cook sausages on a
fire, simple.
Before I knew it I had agreed
that B could ask ALL the girls in
her class.
A week later I got slightly
nervous about being responsible
for 11 friends, B and Millie. We
reached a compromise: B could
invite everyone, as long as the
invites didn't go out until two
days' before. Cunning plan, I
thought, as lots of people won't
be able to come.
Oh yeah? We had one refusal.
And to make matters worse, much
worse, there was sleet forecast
for that Saturday.
Visions of lots of girls skipping
around amongst the blue bells,
playing hide and seek were
replaced by images of blue-lipped,
miserable youngsters, asking if
they could go home.
Come the day, the weather did
exactly what the Met Office had
predicted: torrential rain, high
winds and then sleet. None of us
were in party mood as we blew up
balloons.
But � and this is Cumbria for
you � at 3.30pm, as the cars
started to trundled down the
track to the wood to deposit party
guests, the clouds blew away and
the sun came out.
The bluebells bobbed in the
light breeze as the children ran
around searching for treasure
hunt clues. Mike had set up a
high-rope course and abseil,
which they all loved. Grandad had
drawn a target for them to fire
paintballs at.
They played hide and seek, we
cooked sausages on the fire and
everything seemed to be all
rather civilised. Then someone
discovered the zip wire; the zip
wire which deposited all users on
a steep, muddy bank.
They loved it. And before we
knew it the parents were back,
trying to work out which mud-
covered child was theirs.
A select three had been invited
to stay the night, in the fantastic
tree house which granddad has
built in the woods.
It's any child's dream: wooden
staircase curving round the tree
trunk to a door which leads into
the first room, which comfortably
slept B and her three mates. A
ladder leads up to another room,
where Mike, Millie and I slept.
We had spent all afternoon and
evening playing in the wood.
Grandad had let off some
fireworks; we'd cooked
marshmallows on the fire. By
10.30pm, everyone was ready to
crash.
As I lay upstairs, the sleepy
girls chattered below, becoming
quieter and quieter as they
started to drift off. I looked up at
the branch above me, where the
light of the full moon was shining
on a huge, glistening slug.
Just as I turned to Millie in an
attempt to distract her I heard a
shriek from below: `What's that on
the branch? Shine the torch B.'
They had a visitor too.
All hell broke out and I thought
I was going to have to frog march
them to the farmhouse.
I rustled up a story about slugs
only being able to live on
branches, which meant there was
no way they would fall on
anyone's face.
Amazingly, they believed me.
Everyone fell asleep and I
breathed a sigh of a relief:
survived another birthday party.
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`
They played hide and
seek, we cooked
sausages on the fire and
everything seemed to be
all rather civilised
'
Recession
causing
arguments
ONE in four families in the
UK are arguing more
because of the recession,
figures have shown.
The study also showed
men were twice as likely as
women to be concerned that
money worries would cause
them to break up with their
partner and one in five
couples said they were
arguing more because of
money worries.
Relate, the largest
provider of relationship
counselling and sex therapy
in the UK, said relationships
were being squeezed by
outside pressures and urged
couples to talk about any
problems.
More than 2,000 adults
were involved in the
research carried out by
YouGov in May and 25 per
cent of families admitted to
arguing more because of the
recession.
Claire Tyler, Relate's chief
executive, said: "These
figures confirm what we
have been seeing in our
centres that financial
worries can have a big
impact on family life.
"Families need to know
that talking can help, in fact
talking sooner rather than
when things get to a crisis
point can save families a lot
of heartache.
"Relate is helping many
couples and families who are
finding that money worries
are the final straw."
Novelist Roopa Farooki, a
Relate ambassador for
family counselling, added:
"Couples and families, my
own included, have been
forced to adapt quickly to
the economic crisis living on
a reduced income is a reality
for many, and can be a cause
of conflict, we feel pressure
to provide and guilt if we
cannot.
"Change is stressful for
both parents and children,
and one of the first ways to
manage this is for families to
talk openly about their
concerns."
Jeremy Todd, chief
executive of advice charity
Parentline Plus, said: "We
know from the calls we
receive that financial
pressures have a knock on
effect in other areas of
family life.
"Arguments are just one
sign that families are
hurting."
Arguments: 25 per cent
of families admitted to
arguing more because of
the recession
Parental support is vital
now exams are upon us
EXAM time is upon us once again
and as any parent or carer knows,
the run-up to exams can put
families under a huge amount of
stress.
Young people can feel under
immense pressure when it comes
to exams and the prospect of
being tested can be
overwhelming, especially if they
feel they haven't done enough.
Parents may watch their
children struggling and be
desperate to help but feel
powerless.
We receive lots of calls to our
Parentline from parents
concerned that their children are
feeling under pressure, or are at
the other end of the scale and are
not doing any work at all. It can
be difficult for parents to provide
the right level of support.
Parents calling our Parentline
want to help their kids achieve
their best in their exams, but
many are anxious that their
involvement doesn't add to the
pressure.
If tensions are rising and
tempers are flaring, it is
important to be able to stand
back and separate your own
needs and fears from those of
your children. Having your
children go through this stage in
their lives can throw many
parents back into unhappy
memories and anxieties of their
own, putting extra strain and
discomfort on their children.
However, research shows that
when parents get involved with
their children's exam preparation,
results are likely to improve.
There are positive things that
parents can do to help their
children through this difficult time
and, at Parentline Plus, we offer
tips on how to do this. We are also
keen to reassure parents that
there are few things in life in
which you only get one chance
and exams aren't one of them.
Reassure children that if they
don't do so well this time, they
can always re-sit.
If possible, try to arrange your
children's and your schedules
around revision. Try to cut them a
bit of slack and be lenient about
chores and untidiness.
Young people can lose their
appetite and get over-tired if they
are stressed by exams. Try to
emphasise the need for plenty of
sleep and, if appetites are poor,
try to tempt them with their
favourite foods.
Make sure they have a
comfortable place to work and
accept that some people can
revise better with music or the TV
on in the corner.
Help them to get ready for an
exam. Encourage them to get all
their pens and pencils ready the
night before and try to get them
to go to bed at a reasonable time.
Next day, try to organise a
special breakfast and then go
through a checklist with them to
make sure they have everything
they need.
We would also warn that bribes
or presents conditional on getting
high grades aren't the best way to
help young people. It's far better
to encourage them to work for
their own satisfaction. Perhaps
arrange small and frequent
rewards for effort. Perhaps think
about a family meal to celebrate
the end of the exams.
What is crucial is that parents
know they can either pick up the
phone or make contact by email
anonymously and confidentially.
The Parentline Plus helpline is
free and is staffed 24 hours a day,
seven days a week. Parents can
also visit www.parentlineplus.
org.uk online and all emails sent
in do get answered.
Parentline Plus 24-hour free,
confidential Parentline 0808 800
2222, email help parentsupport@
parentlineplus.org.uk

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