FOR
a
child
to
die
before
he
or
she
is
ev
en
born
is
the
cruellest
of
tragedies.
Pa
re
nts
of
stillbor
n
babies
endur
e
the
pr
omise
of
par
enthood
tur
ning
instantly
into
the
pain
of
gr
ief.
Fo
r
Chr
is
Wi
ldsmith,
38,
whose
son
Elli
ot
died
at
full
term
pr
egna
ncy
in
Ju
ly
,
what
happened
was
so
unexpect-
ed
that
no
one
knew
ho
w
re
act.
He
said:
8220O
ne
of
the
worst
moments
was
when
I
had
to
ri
ng
one
of
our
fr
iends
who
put
us
on
speaker
phone
in
a
full
car
.
8220S
he
was
saying
8216t
ell
me
tell
me
8211
is
it
a
bo
y
or
girl?8217
8220I
had
to
tell
them
Elliot
had
died.
The
whole
car
er
upted
into
complete
despair
.8221
Hi
s
wife
Ni
chola,
44,
says
that
the
couple
still
keep
the
nurser
y
in
their
Ne
wpor
t
Pa
gnell
home
that
their
only
son
neve
r
got
to
see
.
The
softwar
e
manager
and
inter
ior
designer
descr
ibed
the
impact
of
Elliot
losing
his
life
befor
e
he
even
had
a
chan
ce
to
live
.
8220W
e
str
uggled
to
make
a
cup
of
tea,
8221
said
Ni
chola.
8220Y
ou
would
make
a
list
of
things
to
do
that
day
and
couldn
8217t
physically
do
them,
8221
said
Chr
is
.
Though
Elliot
8217s
life
was
cut
shor
t,
they
ar
e
deter
mined
to
continue
speaking
about
him,
campaigning
amid
their
gr
ief
about
the
ten
babies
that
ar
e
stillbor
n
ever
y
day
in
the
UK.
That
one
in
ev
er
y
200
bir
ths
is
a
still-
bir
th
sho
ws
ho
w
re
ality
belies
assumptions
.
After
all,
ho
w
many
people
would
have
guessed
that
thr
ee
times
as
many
babies
ar
e
stillbor
n
than
die
of
cot
death?
This
,
the
couple
say
,
is
because
stillbir
th
is
a
taboo
issue
.
8220W
ith
it
being
a
bab
y
it's
ve
ry
diffi-
cult
for
people
to
discuss
because
is
so
tr
agic
8211
people
don
8217t
talk
about
it,
8221
said
Ni
chola.
8220P
eople
have
fr
iends
that
dive
into
shop
door
ways
when
they
see
them
becaus
e
they
don
8217t
kno
w
what
to
say
.
It
is
like
being
a
social
leper
,8221
said
Chr
is
.
He
believes
the
social
stigma
of
still-
bir
th
is
symptomatic
of
the
medical
profession
pushing
it
under
the
car-
pet.
8220P
re
gnancy
has
become
too
much
about
br
inging
your
CD
and
candles
.
Risks
ar
e
taken
out
of
the
equation,
8221
he
said.
Fi
gur
es
sho
w
that
8216o
lder
8217
mothers
,
those
who
ar
e
aged
35
or
ov
er
,
under
19s
,
black
and
Asian
women,
people
who
smoke
and
ov
er
we
ight
people
ar
e
most
at
ri
sk.
Me
dically
,
stillbir
th
is
still
something
of
a
myster
y.
Like
half
of
other
such
babies
,
a
post
mor
tem
did
not
re
veal
why
Elli
ot
died
.
Bu
t
stillbir
th
is
not
inevitable
,
and
campaigning
is
not
futile
.
Be
cause
a
pioneer
ing
re
sear
cher
,
Pr
ofessor
Ja
son
Ga
rd
osi,
claims
that
40
per
cent
of
them
can
be
pr
evented
8211
if
re
sear
ch,
case
studies
and
re
sour
ces
ar
e
pooled.
That
is
why
the
couple
are
asking
their
MP
Ma
rk
Lancaster
to
take
their
battle
to
the
Pa
rliamentar
y
stage
.
He
told
MK
NEWS
he
is
deter
mined
to
get
a
national
stillbir
th
str
ategy
in
place
.
The
possibility
of
futur
e
childr
en
being
saved
is
why
the
couple
keep
campaigning
8211
why
they
bravely
face
for
ums
at
Mi
lton
Ke
ynes
Ho
spital,
the
place
they
lost
their
only
son.
8220I
think
it
8217s
embedded
in
our
gr
iev-
ing,
8221
said
Chr
is
.
8220I
didn
8217t
just
want
Elliot
8217s
name
on
a
par
k
bench.
We
want
something
positiv
e
to
come
out
of
Elliot
8217s
life
,8221
said
Ni
chola.
8220A
lot
mor
e
can
be
done
and
funding
to
pr
event
some
of
the
bir
ths
.
8220W
e
kno
w
what
it
8217s
like
to
lose
your
bab
y.
"W
e
wouldn
8217t
want
it
to
happen
to
anyo
ne
,
not
even
your
wors
t
enem
y.
8220T
her
e
ar
e
occasions
when
yo
u
don
8217t
want
to
talk
about
it
but
yo
u
do
because
yo
u
kno
w
it
8217s
keeping
Elliot
8217s
memor
y
alive
.8221When
the
promise
of
parenthood
turns
instantly
into
the
pain
of
grief
PA
RENT
S
of
st
illborn
babies
suf
fe
r
the
unthinkable
or
deal
of
what
wa
s
supposed
to
be
the
bes
t
day
of
their
liv
es
tu
rning
int
o
the
wors
t
One
such
couple
fr
om
Milt
on
Ke
ynes
ar
e
campaigning
amid
their
grief
to
ra
ise
aw
ar
eness
about
st
illbir
th
8211
and
ho
w
it
can
be
pr
ev
ent
ed.
Re
por
te
r
JE
SSICA
CUNNIFFE
fo
und
out
ho
w
they
hope
the
las
ting
ef
fe
ct
of
their
son
8217s
shor
t
lif
e
will
be
st
opping
other
fa
milies
fr
om
going
thr
ough
what
they
hav
e
18
|
July
2,
2008
|
www
.mk-news.co.uk
|
MKNEW
S
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